LtS Vol. 3 Draft Recap

One of the best parts of the fantasy football experience is reading huge amounts of useless information, and scouring over multitudes of statistics that will tell you things that are so oddly specific you can find a correlation between sock length and how long a QB stands in the pocket.  I enjoy this quite a bit, and while I have won leagues in the past, I have to admit that the amount of time I put into this silly game of numbers and "studying" is often outweighed by good ole gut decisions.  So, while none of you have asked for this, and a few of you may even begrudgingly accept this is a reality, I'm gonna blast my opinion into the vast space known as fantasy football analysis and hope that at least one person enjoys reading this.

I do this every year for the league that I run with my high school buddies and we've all managed to stick together despite 11 seasons straight of competition.  The disclaimer here is that this is simply my opinion and should not be followed as gospel unless you believe for some arbitrary reason that I know more than you.  I don't.  I just don't have any children and my significant other doesn't mind me sitting next to her and writing on an iPad, this means she can watch whatever she wants.  Without further adu, I present to you a post-draft power ranking and grade.

Dad Runners (JJ Zachariason)

First on my list is a person I listen to for advice and help setting lineups each week.  Someone I'm certain we all believe understands very strongly what they are doing and look to for help in understanding what we are doing.  Now I am going to criticize what they do, wish me luck.

QB:

• Kirk Cousins MIN.
• I have to wonder if you enjoy the fact that during these drafts everyone stays so true to what you say that the QBs drop laughably far.  I'd guess yes.  I also wonder if you don't love the fact that in a draft like this you can still pick up Kirk Cousins in the 12th round.
• Kirk got hugely paid this year and looks to bring greater success to a team that was in the NFCCG last year.  After throwing Keenum, Bradford, and Bridgewater right out the door Cousins came in and was seen as a hugely successful signing.  He's been pretty good as a QB in fantasy despite being unable to match what RG3 accomplished in making the Redskins seem like a contender his rookie year. How can I hate on a pick like this when you believe that QB is unimportant?  I just think maybe you'll get stuck thinking that Cousins is so good that you can't stream your QB pick despite brand. 

RB: 

• Todd Gurley III LAR, Jordan Howard CHI, Tevin Coleman ATL, Marshawn Lynch OAK, Jonathan Williams NO, Aaron Jones GB, Nick Chubb CLE
• Really one of the better looking RB corps in this league.  There's quite a few players here that have an actual role in their offense.  Who is Jonathan Williams? Is there some unwritten rule that any NO back that is buried on the depth chart is definitely going to have a significant role in their offense and become a late season winner?  
• Jordan Howard is solid, might be unexceptional but apparently Nagy loves him.  This dude went out there and ran with a shoulder that was nonexistent and did pretty well.  This could be a wonderful RB2 pick if Mitch Trubisky plays well, so you better be hoping that Mitch shows significant improvement in his second year.  
• Marshawn Lynch is actually still younger than Frank Gore.  He'll always be younger than Frank Gore.  Lynch could be primed for a huge season in Gruden's new offense or he could be show up by Doug Martin.  His usage absolutely has to be better than it was last year, and if preseason runs that are called back are any indicator (spoilers: they aren't) then he still has breakaway speed and that same daunting presence.  I like this pick a ton as your RB 3 and I think it gives you flexibility and an injury cushion.
• The rest: Aaron Jones looks good but is suspended and behind Jamaal Williams. Chubb is behind Hyde who the Niners dumped for whatever reason, and Tevin Coleman is an injury away from being a RB1.  Any of them could have some production without significant injuries but it would likely be minimal low end RB2 at best. 

WR:

• Adam Thielen MIN, Michael Crabtree BAL, Kenny Golladay DET, Taywan Taylor TEN, Antonio Callaway CLE, Dante Pettis SF, David Moore SEA
• Thielen feels like one of those scrappy wide receivers that had gotten so popular during the prime NE days.  I have this idea that Thielen had an amazing connection with Keenum and might regress a bit with Cousins.  Cousins seems to like to spread the ball around a lot and Thielen seemed to enjoy those games with a ton of catches.  Also Cousins and his TE love story (better love story than Twilight) might cap some of Thielen's usefulness in the redzone with everyone's favorite football reindeer Kyle Rudolph.
• Michael Grabtree.  I wouldn't be worried about his ability but rather Flacco's ability to lead a drive that ends in a TD that isn't a run by Alex Collins or even a deep bomb to anyone other than Crabtree.  I don't believe Crabtree is a deep threat at all, and I also don't believe that Flacco has anything left in his tank.  I will tell you this, if the league is point per chain Crabtree is going to be a WR1.
• BabyTron (do we use one-word or two words for this?).  Potential is off the charts but Stafford doesn't seem to much care for anyone that isn't Golden or Marvin.  He tries, don't get me wrong, but Stafford is a loyal guy that probably doesn't hang out with anyone outside his former frat family.
• Taylor, Callaway, Pettis, and Moore are all unknown to me.  Callaway looked good on that preseason catch he had.
• This WR corp could be good but I have my reservations.  It's certainly not your post-draft strength.

TE:

• Greg Olsen CAR, Ricky Seals-Jones ARI
• Olsen was awful last year but was injured and has been amazing since being traded away from Cutler in Chicago.  He dropped far and was a good pick either way you slice it.
• Seals-Jones, a kiss from the rose on the red.  Looked good at the end of the year, a good flier but nothing more yet.

D/ST and Kickers

• Who cares, I won't be doing this.

Overall:

• A team that's heavily slanted towards RBs.  The WR depth and talent isn't really there, but will it matter if your flex is full of RBs throwing up points?  The make or break for you is whether or not Thielen gels with Cousins, if he doesn't there will be huge question marks.  Enjoy Gurley! 
• DRAFT GRADE: A-

Maryland Mediocres (Denny Carter)

Next up is the man that everyone looks towards to share their pain.  Whether it's to laugh at the objectively true opinions or to live vicariously through a full on tilt Denny is there.  

QB: 

• Jimmy Garoppolo SF
• Jimmy G is an excercise in seeing if the universal truth of good looks being all you need extends to the football field.  Jimmy G throws footballs for the team that has the worst stadium in the NFL, and he can probably still make tickets sell out by just taking off his helmet.  Jimmy G regularly uses the restroom and leaves behind things that look better than the average person.  Unproven and off to a hot start in his short career as a 49er Jimmy has all the mystique and upside you could ask for without any of that silly baggage known as a proven track record.

RB:

• Le'Veon Bell PIT, Adrian Peterson WAS, Latavius Murray MIN, Frank Gore MIA, John Kelly LAR, Chase Edmonds ARI, Jeremy McNichols SF
•  When you read the first name of this list the first thought is "this is gonna be good."  Then a slow realization as you go through the rest of the list hits that no, no it is not.  
• Adrian Peterson looks good in preseason, but if I remember correctly he looked great in the first game he played for Arizona too.  Adrian Peterson at this point is a name wrapped up in an aging running back that hits his children with a switch.  Still younger than Frank Gore though.
• Latavius Murray had a great season last year and looked pretty good rushing the ball.  It's a shame though that Minnesota has a shiny new toy that was in the repair shop last year though, and Latavius will probably not get the work he needs to be incredibly successful.  Murray isn't really a bruiser despite his size and while he can catch I wouldn't call him a specialist.  
• Frank Gore is 35 years old.  He is going full Tom Brady for a running back.  Can he do it again?  If anyone can it's Frank Gore, but his goal posts have moved over the years.  When I ask can he do it again, I mean can he score 7-10 points a game again.  Wholly unexciting but always there for you.
• With the rest I'll just ask, what happened to not drafting handcuffs?

WR:

• Tyreek Hill KC, Jarvis Landry CLE, Marquise Goodwin SF, Kelvin Benjamin BUF, Robert Woods LAR, Josh Doctson WAS
• Your first two WRs have both had domestic violence inquiries against them, so that's a good start.  Hope they like beating the competition (poor taste I admit).
• Tyreek has looked great with Mahomes this preseason, and if his speed and ability to blow past secondaries remains or even improves he could have a heck of a season.  I see a lot of boom/bust in his future, but if he can bring the floor up a bit he will have a heck of a year.
• Landry seems to be the exact opposite, a ton of catches for absolutely no yards and a TD thrown in sometimes.  I actually think Landry and Hill are a good pair and this wasn't too much of a reach if you truly believe in them and weren't just swayed by Hard Knocks.  
• Goodwin and Benjamin are the WR1s on teams with something to prove.  Jimmy G looks to show that his ridiculously good looks aren't the only thing going for him and Goodwin should be the main beneficiary as long as he keeps his eye on the ball and not his QB.  Pierre Garçon might prove to be more productive than you hope, but Goodwin might be good for a win or two (I'm sorry).  Benjamin wants to prove that the only thing holding him back was Newton and now that he is with the generational talent that is Peterman (no one throws interceptions better!) he can shine on his own.  I've owned Benjamin every year he has been in the league and I always manage to trade him by week 5.  Good luck.
• Woods looked great last year, unlike Doctson.  If Woods can pick up where he left off than wow, good for you.  If the addition of Brandin Cooks hurts anyone though I would guess it is Woods.  

TE: 

• Jordan Reed WAS, Jared Cook OAK, Eric Ebron IND
• Alex Smith loves his TEs but unfortunately for you Jordan Reed will only be his TE 2 weeks out of 16.  Normally drafting 3 TEs would be way frowned upon but with these 3 I get it.  Reed will be great in that 1 game he plays, Cook can show up if the offense hasn't moved away from him completely (Gruden might know who he is now), and Ebron could finally break out.  I mean, maybe this year is the year he gets the L in front of his last name and completes the prophecy we all know to be true even if no one will say it out loud.

Overall:

• Your team is predicated around how well Le'Veon Bell does really, the depth their is terrifying and your WRs are all surrounded by question marks and new situations.  I see potential in it all, but that goes both ways either the potential to absolutely dominate or fall flat on their faces.  If you aren't first you're last.
• DRAFT GRADE: C-

Hollywood Elites (Tom Scott)

Gotta be the celebrity of the league, I've actually watched all of that Scream series they put onto the MTV and enjoyed it.  So kudos.  

QB: 

• Tom Brady NE, Marcus Mariota TEN
• Branding branding branding.  For a team named Hollywood Elites, Tom Brady makes perfect sense.  And from my point of view (I live in Eugene, OR home of the Ducks) Mariota is also absolutely a celebrity.  
• Can Brady continue playing?  The answer is yes because he is.  Can he throw up elite numbers?  Probably.  I actually think if you're going Brady having a competent back up for him is necessary.  I mean what if the dude starts having arthritic episodes and can't play?  Mariota however might not have been worth drafting in this league where QBs were in a free fall.  Don't let last years self pass TD fool you, Mariota was not great last season.

RB: 

• Alvin Kamara NO, Jay Ajayi PHI, Kerryon Johnson DET, Peyton Barber TB, Rod Smith DAL, Samaje Perine WAS
• Alvin Kamara might be the best RB in the NFL, or he might be a carbon copy clone of CJ Spiller and puke without being fed the ball.  The two are so analogous for me that I put Kamara on my do-not-draft list (as if at 14 I had the choice).  The dude looked so electric last season and was so damn efficient that I have to wonder if Ingram was sharing any of that "special stuff" with him.  At least Sean Payton hasn't told him they were gonna run him till he pukes, that's a good sign.
• Jay Ajayi, the invisible star on a Super Bowl winning team.  There has to be some worry that this guy, who was busting off 200 yard games so well that he forced Arian Foster into retirement, disappeared once Blount and Clement were in town. Set to be the Eagles star RB of 2018 he has to compete with a stable of backs that actually still includes the ancient Darren Sproles. 
• Kerryon Johnson, Rod Smith, Samaje Perine are all big hopes.  Kerryon has to fight with the aforementioned Blount, Riddick, and Abdullah for playing time.  Rod Smith has to have Zeke go down to be worth mentioning at all, and Samaje is the worst runner I've ever personally watched.  But some of them might actually return value.
• Peyton Barber looks good.  Really he does, RoJo be darned. 

WR: 

• JuJu Smith-Schuster PIT, Devin Funchess CAR, DeSean Jackson TB, Courtland Sutton DEN, Tre'Quan Smith NO, Christian Kirk ARI, Keke Coutee HOU
• Attack of the number twos!  JuJu has a strong celebration game and for that alone I see Big Ben tossing him the ball near the end zone.  But he is still behind Brown so largely capped upside.
• Funchess is so slow that some think he doesn't actually move at all but the field moves under him. DeSean is so fast that FitzMagic can't throw far enough even if it was a 3 step drop.
• Tre'Quan and Christian Kirk are intriguing.  I hear great things about Tre'Quan and Christian Kirk has looked good in a receiving corps that has a wide open spot for WR2.  
• Keke actually has people jumping out of their car and dancing which sounds like a pretty good sign.

TE: 

• Rob Gronkowski NE, Jordan Akins HOU
• You did it!  You got Gronk. If he's healthy there's nothing better than owning Gronk on a fantasy football team.  Enjoy.  Just hope for no more dirty elbows.

Overall:

• Gronk is a huge positional advantage over almost every single team, your QB is strong, your RBs have good potential.  Your WRs have a low ceiling and a fairly low floor.  
• DRAFT GRADE: B+

Sexy Skeletons (Steve Donovan)

I won't pretend I know anything about the rest of you guys.  I will however judge them drafts.

QB:

• Drew Brees NO
• Old man Brees is great.  Definite HOF'er.  With the giant emergence his run game had last year his TD number dropped by a lot.  But if his run game regresses than so might Brees' TD numbers (in this case regression means going up, thanks English).  His WR corp has a new look with Meredith and Tre'Quan Smith in town.  While Ingram is out Brees may need to throw more, and while Father Time has to catch up at some point it doesn't seem that point is here yet.

RB: 

• Christian McCaffrey CAR, Marlon Mack IND, Theo Riddick DET, Sony Michel NE, Doug Martin OAK, Spencer Ware KC, Wayne Gallman NYG
• This is a PPR league and McCaffrey appears to have huge PPR value.  If the preseason isn't some smoke-screen Carolina appears ready to feature CMC heavily, and he has the potential to finish top 5.  For the sake of your crew here you better hope he does.
• The drop off to your RB2 is huge.  Like so huge the guy may not play week 1.  Marlon Mack was a name everyone became aware of last season but he absolutely could not beat out Frank Gore to earn his place.  He is injured now but when he is healthy a rejuvenated Luck might make Mack an actual threat.
• Riddick, Martin, Ware, Gallman are all names we have seen in the past.  Whether it was through huge seasons or productive streaks these guys have all shown they have what it takes to put up numbers.  Their limiting factor is the opportunity they have.  For all of the above it seems pretty limited by what is in front of them.

WR:

• Michael Thomas NO, Chris Hogan NE, Corey Davis TEN, Jamison Crowder WAS, Jordy Nelson OAK, Dede Westbrook JAX, Curtis Samuel CAR
• That Thomas Brees stack is pretty cool. I'd be hard pressed to find something bad to say about Thomas so I won't, he's a bona fide WR1.
• Hogan fits all the demographic information of a productive NE WR and he can score TDs.  I would only worry that he gets hurt or that maybe Edelman returns and saps a bit of his role away from him.  
• Corey Davis and Jamison Crowder have been spoken about as having ridiculous amounts of potential.  I've yet to see them amount to anything besides a waste of a WR3 slot.  Corey Davis is very skilled but how does he translate into the offense led by Marcus Mariota who is now most famous for passing to himself in the playoffs?  
• Jordy Nelson is potentially a huge gain for Oakland.  If he has anything left in his tank expect a nice season, even if he doesn't have much I expect TD opportunities to arise from that offense.
• Westbrook could benefit from Lee's injury but there is still a lot of mouths in Jacksonville.

TE: 

• Tyler Eifert CIN, Charles Clay BUF
• Hey if Eifert stays healthy he is a beast.  If he hurts his back though do not ever actually expect him to come back.
• I remember getting Charles Clay and Clay Harbour mixed up.  That's as noteworthy as Charles Clay is to me.

Overall:

• That Drew Brees and Michael Thomas stack could be nasty.  If CMC does not work out for you then your RBs might be a bit doomed.  WR depth is something you have a ton of, and if even one of them gets close to the ceiling they have you might be set.  
• DRAFT GRADE: B+

Big Cranberry (Tom Whalen)

QB: 

• Patrick Mahomes KC
• BIAS ALERT: I don't expect Mahomes to do well.  I think he can make Hill sustainable and maybe Kelce.  I however think he is going to kill a lot of drives but throwing gambles out that result in interceptions and make KC look worse than they are.  I do understand the hype here but I just kind of hate KC.

RB: 

• Kareem Hunt KC, Isaiah Crowell NYJ, Ty Montgomery GB, Jeremy Hill NE, Christine Michael IND, Kyle Juszczyk SF
• I just had to triple check how to spell Kyle's last name, and I'm still note 100% sure that I got it correct.
• Kareem Hunt might benefit from Spencer Ware being healthy.  It was clear that the mid season for Hunt was not productive and he was not doing well.  If the problem was Andy Reid (we've seen this in the past) then that problem will continue to exist. If the problem was the rookie wall then he might be able to get over it.  
• Not a good sign for Crowell that they've signed someone new in NY is it?  C-Mike is still alive and well it appears.
• TyMo and Jeremy Hill both could have huge opportunities presented if they can get a clear shot at the backfield.  The talent is there, but so is the opportunity for their team mates.

WR: 

• Keenan Allen SD, Josh Gordon CLE, Alshon Jeffery PHI, Pierre Garçon SF, Marqise Lee JAX, John Ross CIN, Corey Coleman BUF, Equanimeous St. Brown GB
• Then you made me spell out Equanimeous.  
• Sorry about Marqise Lee that looked like it hurt. If he is out, Josh Gordon does not play week 1, Alshon Jeffery is out, do you really feel good trotting out John Ross?  I saw that play he had but that's a pretty deep depth move there.
• If everything plays out well for you with suspensions and injuries I actually do like this corp, I think Keenan is a baller and Josh Gordon's potential is sky-high (hopefully unlike him). Alshon rounds out the top 3 you have with great opportunity once again to prove he belongs on a team that won the Super Bowl.

TE: 

• David Njoku CLE, Cameron Brate TB
• Njoku has had a wonderful preseason and looks poised to break out.  Cleveland has a lot of mouths to feed and needs someone to replace Gary Barnidge.  If Njoku can stay consistent during the season I think him and Tyrod could have a nice hookup.  He just needs to roll his eyes a little less during practice.
• Brate is a good backup TE that could be playable in flex some weeks.  He won't wow you, but what TEs really will?

Overall:

• Not a fan of the QB or RBs, but I do think your WR group has a load of potential.  A lot of things have to go your way for this to work, but if it does it could be downright deadly.  Just hope hope hope no more injuries happen to that team or you'll be starting Corey Coleman before you know it.
• DRAFT GRADE: C+

Full Tilt Ahead (Toby Miller)

QB:

• Cam Newton CAR
• The great news with Cam Newton is that no matter how bad he looks he seems to put up fantasy points.  He has a great new weapon in DJ Moore (let's see how this rookie WR plays out) and Olsen might actually be healthy.  He can either be your favorite player to watch or your least favorite, but somehow he always gets the really ugly fantasy points.

RB: 

• Devonta Freeman ATL, Dion Lewis TEN, Tarik Cohen CHI, Bilal Powell NYJ, Chris Ivory BUF, Jalen Richard OAK
• Freeman isn't as sexy a pick a year removed from Shanahan's offense, but he seems to be reliable and as long as he doesn't cede too much time to Coleman he should be a solid low end RB1.  
• With Lewis, Cohen and Powell there could be some solid PPR value to be had.  I love Lewis' abilities but if Henry actually performs the way people have said he should for the past few years then Lewis could become an afterthought.  If all of these guys live up to their pass catching potential you could be looking at a solid if unspectacular group. No name here screams amazing RB1 potential due to their situations but then again we've seen Powell force his way onto rosters for years.

WR:

• Odell Bechkam Jr NYG, Demaryius Thomas DEN, Randal Cobb GB, DJ Moore CAR, Ryan Grant IND, Donte Moncrief JAX, Tedd Ginn Jr NO, Brandon Marshall SEA, Taylor Gabriel CHI
• Beckham and Thomas is a great start to this corp.  Bechkam has the wild potential and Thomas provides what should be a safe floor.  Then Cobb seems like a prayer that he'll provide a fraction of the value he did 3-4 years ago.
• After those 3 there is a lot of potential and some fair dart throws.  Brandon Marshall was washed last year, and no amount of positive words Pete Carrol has can make me believe anything has changed.  DJ Moore has opportunity in Carolina and we will see if he's singing the same tune as Benjamin at the end of the season.  
• Grant, Ginn, Moncrief and Gabriel have all been players in the past that should have "breakout" seasons.  Ginn, to be fair, has had a couple really strong seasons.  The rest have only been able to break out of their original rosters and find themselves in even murkier situations.  Gabriel needs to become the favorite of Trubisky who has yet to show any ability to feed the 300 people on the Bears.  Moncrief is relying on Bortles throwing TDs (pretty funny that).  Grant's hope is that Luck wants to throw it deep and has some issues with TY Hilton that day.  Their potential seems to good to pass up, but will you ever feel good playing any of them?

TE:

• Trey Burton CHI
• Trey has become this fantasy community sleeper darling of a TE.  Is it because last year he subbed in for Ertz and did well?  Is that because Burton is great or because Philly used their TEs like no other?  Is it because Nagy also used Kelce a lot?  I suppose there is opportunity available for him but the Bears offense was so ugly last season I find it hard to believe that there's a lot of value to be found.  Also Burton isn't Kelce, he's much too nice for that.

Overall:

• I think really you have some solid first pieces but I would be wary of the rest.  There's potential in a lot of them, but that goes both ways.  Until that potential becomes production this team has some terrifying prospects and depth that could fall apart at any minute.
• DRAFT GRADE: C+

Team Slade (Chris Slade)

QB:

• Philip Rivers LAC
• With the ugliest passes I've had the displeasure of watching for years, Rivers is a good QB. Week to week he probably won't give you huge numbers but most of the time he is safe and won't be a negative on your team. Just watch out for those ugly "shot put" passes that somehow sail 30 yards downfield.  Rivers to Allen connection is one of the most baffling things in the NFL that seems to continue working.

RB: 

• Saquan Barkley NYG, Alex Collins BAL, Chris Thompson WAS, Kalen Ballage MIA, Nyheim Hines IND, CJ Prosise SEA, Darren Sproles PHI
• Barkley has some ridiculous measurables and has shown so much talent in his time in college.  Can he turn that into a season that validates picking him as a top 10 player?  If he follows in the foot steps of Zeke, sure.  But in New York he's gonna be running behind a terrible line and smelling Eli's breath in each huddle.  
• Collins and Thompson both stand a change to finish as top 10 RBs.  Thompson is dependent upon health and confidence he has in that health, Collins will depend on his own skills and if Flacco can help him keep drives alive just a little bit. 
• Will CJ Prosise ever prove worthwhile as more than just a name to throw out when Seattle inevitably has to switch out RBs? I'd guess not, but drafting him saves you the pain of having to pick him up from waivers before you drop him.
• Darren Sproles is actually as old as Frank Gore.  This dude ran behind Ladanian Tomlinson in his prime, that's how old Sproles is.  Somehow, my mind still wants to say Sproles is electric.  

WR:

• TY Hilton IND, Allen Robinson CHI, Cooper Kupp LAR, Chris Godwin TB, Rishard Matthews TEN, Tyrell Williams LAC, Eric Decker NE
• TY Hilton did pretty good without Luck, better than I would have expected with Brisket.  If Luck has retained his skill then Hilton should return WR1 value.
• Allen Robinson should be a standout in Chicago, but outside of that one year in Jacksonville what has he really done?   I see ARob and Kelvin Benjamin as the exact same sort of player, propelled through fantasy by a good year of garbage time and since then living on the fringes of high end discussion.  Is ARob really better than anyone else Chicago has?
• Kupp and Matthews should provide good value for when they were taken.  If Corey Davis does not become a top flight WR then Matthews should still be Mariota's go to, and if Kupp works on catching all balls he should and keeps chemistry with Goff he might have a huge year.  I like these picks.  
• If this league was Point Per Retirement you would have a lead already through Eric Decker.

TE:

• OJ Howard TB, Mike Gesicki MIA
• Howard never passed Brate last year as his team's top tight end.  He seems more talented but Brate has the chemistry.  I just remember playing him in that game he dropped the last second TD that would have won TB the game.  Not a good look.

Overall:

• I do like your top RBs, it drops off real quick but the first 3 could provide huge value.  I think your WRs are good but I don't think they'll have any week-winning moments outside of TY Hilton.  Even if the rest play well I see them as high floor low ceiling guys that aren't exciting.  They might be perfect players for you if Barkley shows up, or you might need a bit more boom/bust thrown in there.
• DRAFT GRADE: B-

Hollywood Meh Addicts (Jason Brown)

QB:

• Aaron Rodgers GB
• You were the first to take a QB, that might be a downside to this.  Everything else is good.  Set it and forget it.

RB:

• Royce Freeman DEN, Duke Johnson Jr. CLE, James White NE, Jordan Wilkins IND, Alfred Blue HOU, Alfred Morris SF, Chris Warren OAK
• The way I see it is if Duke or Royce don't work out your RBs are straight bad.  Royce has looked good in the preseason but Denver could have an awful offense that could severely limit his opportunities.  Duke is in a position that could just be awful, the 3rd down back on a crowded Cleveland team.  
• James White runs the risk that every back in New England has, Belichick might just decide he doesn't like him anymore and go exclusively with Michel and Burkhead.  White has stuck around for a while now, but it is a risk each and every week.
• The butlers Alfred & Alfred.  Blue is uninspiring on every level as a back up to an uninspiring Lamar Miller. Alfred Morris could receive some quality playtime should McKinnon and Breida sit out, but Morris is so far removed from his good seasons that he couldn't beat out Rod Smith for playing times while Zeke was gone.  
• I like Warren a lot, but without a few injuries he's not getting play time this year.

WR:

• DeAndre Hopkins HOU, AJ Green CIN, Anthony Miller CHI, Paul Richardson WAS, Cole Beasley DAL, Trent Taylor SF, Jermain Kearse NYJ, Adam Humphries TB
• Hopkins and Green is an awesome 1-2 punch at WR.  Green might be a bit boom/bust but Hopkins is as solid as it gets.  Good combo.
• Anthony Miller is another Chicago receiver.  Something that hasn't worked out since Josh McCown was tossing passes.  
• Richardson and Kearse, that dynamic duo that couldn't fully pan out in Seattle.  Seattle by the way is a team that is using Brandon Marshall now.
• Trent Taylor is the Cole Beasley of SF, and Cole Beasley is Cole Beasley.  Some scrappy dudes that sometimes can catch TDs.  

TE: 

• George Kittle SF
• A super athletic TE in SF?  How could that possibly not work out? I seem to remember huge things from Delanie Walker, Vance McDonald, and old Vernon Davis that all went on to prove that they were worthwhile once they left SF.  

Overall:

• Your WRs are boss, there is a drop off after the top 2 but if they stay healthy that's a pretty good source of points.  Your RBs scare the crap out of me, I would not feel comfortable at all with them.  You have Aaron Rodgers too which looks wonderful in a starting lineup.  
• DRAFT GRADE: C+

The Simulation (Zach Kennedy)

QB:

• DeSean Watson HOU, Matthew Stafford DET
• Watson with that huge upside and Stafford with that fallback.  I wonder if Stafford is worth carrying on the bench. Watson has the upside to be the QB1, and he is exciting as all heck to watch.

RB:

• Melvin Gordon LAC, Kenyan Drake MIA, Lamar Miller HOU, Matt Breida SF, TJ Yeldon JAX, James Conner PIT, Mark Walton CIN
• Your first 3 RBs are startable week-to-week (assuming Drake doesn't lose carries to Gore).  After that the well dries up and you have to wait for injuries or serious poor play by starters.  
• Of all the handcuffs you did pick up, you missed out on Austin Ekeler which seems important towards protecting your Gordon pick.  I could see some standalone volume in TJ Yeldon.

WR:

• Davante Adams GB, Nelson Agholor PHI, Sammy Watkins KC, Michael Gallup DAL, Calvin Ridley ATL, Tyler Boyd CIN
• Davante Adams is my personal favorite WR this year so kudos to you.  
• Agholor and Watkins are guys that eventually could completely live up to what they should.  Until they do I wouldn't feel great having them as my WR2 and 3. 
• Gallup and Ridley are the great unknown that could be awesome but have red flags that cannot be fully ignored.  Ridley is behind Sanu Canoe and Julio Jones, leaving him to scrap for whatever is left.  Gallup should be the WR1 in Dallas, but that means that Dak actually has to throw him the ball instead of hand it off to Zeke.  

TE: 

• Kyle Rudolph MIN, Austin Sefarian-Jenkins JAX
• Rudolph the redzone reindeer now has Cousins throwing him the ball.  The same Cousins that made Jordan Reed infuriatingly productive.  I think Rudolph has a much higher tolerance for pain and injuries, and has occasionally put up a good game.  
• ASJ will probably have a couple Marcedes Lewis 3 TD games when it makes the least sense, so enjoy the big games on your bench every once and a while.

Overall:

• I think your RBs are stronger than your WRs but the drop off in each of your squads is ridiculous.  Miller to Breida is a hard drop.  Your WRs after Adams are all question marks, and it's a bit rough.
• DRAFT GRADE: C

Lexington Lame Dads (Zach Ernst)

QB:

• Matt Ryan ATL
• You'll either get the MVP caliber Matt Ryan, or the more standard Matt Ryan that has an awesome supporting cast and somehow disappoints completely.  Will Julio actually get more than 5TDs?  I think that's a huge part of the equation.

RB:

• David Johnson ARI, Mark Ingram II NO, LeGarette Blount DET, Kenneth Dixon BAL, Jacquizz Rodgers TB
• I'll be honest, I have no clue what your plan is for the first 6 weeks. David Johnson is awesome, but do you actually plan on trotting out Blount with him until Ingram comes back?  Ingram is great but holy cow, that's a long time to rely on Blount.
• No one else is worth talking about.

WR:

• Larry Fitzgerald ARI, Doug Baldwin SEA, Emmanuel Sanders DEN, Kenny Stills MIA, John Brown BAL, James Washington PIT, Geronimo Allison GB, Danny Amendola MIA, Martavis Bryant OAK, J'mon Moore GB
• Fitz, Baldwin, Sanders and Stills are all startable pieces that look pretty good. 
• Smokey Brown isn't the first target for Flacco.  That's a bad combination.
• It's J'mon Moore.  That's fun to say, worth it just for that really.
• Washington, Allison, and Amendola might be alright.  These guys might flash every once and a while.  I'm doubtful but they might flash.
• THERE'S SO MANY WRs ON THIS TEAM.

TE:

•  Jimmy Graham GB
• That could be awesome, some people don't remember how good he was when he had Brees.  I do.   I remember him trying to get paid like a WR when he was a TE.  I also remember when he actually put up a ton of yardage.

Overall:

• You have DJ, that's good.  The rest of your RBs are disgusting.  For that, I am sorry.  Your WRs have some solid proven guys and then a ton of dart throws that could be good or could drop off the face of the Earth.  You need a bit of TLC in this squad to make it viable past week 4.
• DRAFT GRADE: D

Team Pee Hands (Ross Kidwell)

QB:

• Andrew Luck IND
• Will the prodigal son return?  The man who was always considered better than Russell Wilson despite not winning a dang thing.  He's back now and we will wait until week 6 to see if that argument starts back up.

RB:

• Jerick McKinnon SF, Ronald Jones TB, Buck Allen BAL, Giovani Bernard CIN, Robert Turbin IND, D'onta Foreman HOU
• McKinnon has huge upside in Shanahan's offense.  Shame he is already hurting. If he can stay healthy he can have a huge year, and he is being paid like it is expected.
• Ronald Jones is a recently demoted (was he ever RB1 for TB?) rookie that has been taking crap about his ability to catch balls. 
• Really I think Gio is your second best back and can have some pretty good value in PPR.  I don't think you have anything worth writing home about outside of McKinnon and Gio.

WR:

• Julio Jones ATL, Mike Evans TB, Marvin Jones Jr DET, Robby Anderson NYJ, Sterling Shepard NYG, Julian Edelman NE, Phillip Dorsett NE, Terrelle Pryor Sr NYJ
• The first two picks are people that are elite but not necessarily fun to own.  Julio can be up and down, Evans without Winston for the first set of games, both of these just sound like super frustrating picks.
• After that you have Marvin Jones who either does fantastic or just looks like he doesn't care about games.
• After those three it seems like you just wanted to grab every North Eastern wide receiver that was available.  Julian Edelman after suspension could come back and take Hogan's spot and look awesome.  Anderson might help out Darnold, Shepard is competing with some real talent on the Giants, and Dorsett and Pryor were throwaway picks much like everything left after round 10.

TE:

• Jack Doyle IND, Nick O'Leary BUF
• These guys sound like they could be Irish mobsters that pal around together in Boston.
• Doyle could be a legit TE and look great with Luck.
• O'Leary was a great pick because pee hands.

Overall:

• Your WRs are great if not frustrating.  Your RBs are awful outside of McKinnon.  However you made good on your namesake, and also have a ridiculous number of NY and NE widereceivers.
• DRAFT GRADE: D+

Team Mohammed (Talik Mohammed)

QB:

• Russell Wilson SEA
• Really really good as a fantasy QB.  The Seahawks look to regress a bunch but that might actually make it even better for Wilson as a QB1. 
• Miracle Water fixes the forever headaches.

RB:

• Joe Mixon CIN, Rex Burkhead NE, Jamaal Williams GB, Rashaad Penny SEA, CJ Anderson CAR, Austin Ekeler LAC, Boston Scott NO
• I have zero faith in Joe Mixon as an RB.  
• Rex Burkhead has a small tear, which either sounds mildly uncomfortable or mildly alarming.  A small tear however never sounds productive or comforting.  
• Jamaal Williams is my favorite RB pick you made, and he might only be good until Aaron Jones shows back up.  
• Austin Ekeler might be wonderful if anything happens to Gordon.

WR:

• Antonio Brown PIT, Golden Tate DET, Cameron Meredith NO, Allen Hurns DAL, Mike Wallace PHI, Marquez Valdez-Scantling GB, Jaron Brown SEA
• Antonio will carry this unit regardless of what happens with the rest.
• Golden Tate is fun to watch.  He isn't always productive but sometimes he just seems angry and does a wonderful job.  
• Cameron Meredith was fire for the Bears two years ago.  If he can show that again at any time with Brees throwing to him he could have a big year.
• Hurts and Wallace are potentially alright, but not particularly exciting.  Wallace might do well if Jeffrey misses any time.

TE:

• Austin Hooper ATL, Benjamin Watson NO
• If there was a duo that was anymore boring sounding in football than these two I would be surprised.  Actually, the guy above this had Doyle and O'Leary so never mind.  
• They can flash, but I have this feeling these two will give you the situation where you'll never have the right one in your lineup.

Overall:

• Things I like:  Antonio Brown, Russell Wilson, Cameron Meredith, Jamaal Williams.  Everything else is just not what I would agree with or do.  That might actually totally work out for you.  
• DRAFT GRADE: C

Gruden Tape Grinders (Cameron Clark)

QB:

• Ben Roethlisberger PIT
• If you're anything like I was last season, you'll drop him right before he starts putting up major points.  Ben is a frustration to own because of the home/away splits and how much they matter sometimes and don't other times.  He's definitely a solid QB, and by that I mean he is built like a truck and looks like an NHL player.  Enjoy the wild swings from QB1 to QB18.

RB: 

• Ezekiel Elliott DAL, Derrick Henry TEN, Chris Carson SEA, Corey Clement PHI, Devontae Booker DEN, Corey Grant JAX, Tavon Austin DAL
• Zeke probably won't be suspended this year.  He also loses some of that dominance his o-line displayed last year and is still hanging out with Dak.  Volume volume volume is the game, and maybe Zeke will eat even more in his third season.
• Henry I'm not completely sold on.  I keep hearing how dominant he should be and just not seeing the results match up.  This could be his year, or he could prove once again that a rbbc just does not allow him to live his best life.
• Carson and Clement I like a lot.  Carson as the Seahawks running back that might finally break the mould and not get injured in his first game after looking fantastic.  Clement as a change of pace back behind Ajayi on a team that will allow him to get some open space.  If Clement can become the primary pass-catcher out of that backfield this could be a good tandem for you.
• When did Tavon Austin get the full on RB tag?  Will they use him as a gadget or will he be forever attached to the utility belt?

WR:

• Stefon Diggs MIN, Amari Cooper OAK, Tyler Lockett SEA, Mohammed Sanu ATL, Albert Wilson MIA, Willie Snead BAL, DJ Chark JAX
• I also really dig this WR group.  Stefon Diggs, if he can stay healthy, has Cousins throwing him the ball which should be an upgrade over Keenum.  I also want to see more of the shovel celebrations.
• Cooper dropped a lot of passes last year but didn't drop that far in rankings this year.  I think he's due a rebound and is on a mightily intriguing Oakland squad.  I can see him as a top 24 WR or as a bottom feeder, I like the gamble.
• Tyler Lockett just has never really worked out.  He's electric in the return game, but Russell Wilson only has eyes for the angry and Doug Baldwin can shout louder than anyone else on that team.
• Sanu Canoe might have hit rocky waters now that Ridley is on the team.  Sanu still completed a pass to Andy Dalton though, so maybe if Matt Ryan lines up wide you can get some extra TDs.
• Willie Snead or won't he?

TE:

• Zach Ertz PHI, Delanie Walker TEN
• I really enjoy Delanie Walker dating back to his days on SF.  I don't think he's the best but man is he always there for you.  He's like a good friend.
• Zach Ertz was phenomenal last year and finally had his break out season.  The main downside to Zach Ertz is that he has really created some awful, awful fantasy football team names.

Overall:

• Solid RBs, WRs and TEs.  There's a lot of upside to your core and if any of your late picks pan out I really think that your team could be a contender.
• DRAFT GRADE: A

Pacific Standard Time (Nic Meyer)

Undoubtedly the least bias team I have to review.

QB:

• Carson Wentz PHI
• A great pick for two reasons:
1. He looks phenomenal and was probably going to be the MVP if he didn't get hurt last season.
2. If he misses the first few games then it allows me to be completely on-brand to start the season and stream QBs.

RB: 

• Leonard Fournette JAX, Dalvin Cook MIN, LeSean McCoy BUF, Carlos Hyde CLE,  Rob Kelley WAS
• Leonard Fournette and Dalvin Cook are both sophomores heading into seasons where their teams look like they should be in the lead often.  While Fournette only has to worry about TJ Yeldon catching passes, Cook has to worry about Latavius Murray existing in the same slot which is worrisome.
• LeSean McCoy dropped a ton, might get suspended for hiring someone to beat on his ex-girlfriend, and plays for the Bills.  Those all sound like knocks on him, but his nickname is Shady so it shouldn't be too surprising.  At 30 he might be the focal point of an offense that actually won't be able to throw due to their short amount of time before the QB is pressured.  Dump off city.
• Hyde has looked good and only has to worry about a little Chubb.  Hyde was only dumped of the 49ers because he was challenging the looks of Jimmy G.  

WR:

• Brandin Cooks LAR, Will Fuller V HOU, DeVantae Parker MIA, Mike Williams LAC, Keelan Cole JAX, Quincy Enunwa NYJ, Dez Bryant FA, Cordarelle Patterson NE, Ryan Switzer SOMEWHERE
• Who knew how fast the WR pool would dry up?  You'd think it was an oasis in the middle of Phoenix, Arizona.  
• Brandin Cooks got a huge payday and was traded from the Pats to the Rams.  His main competition is Robert Woods and Cooper Kupp, two guys who looked great last year but haven't shown much else.  The TDs may be limited as Gurley exists on this team but Cooks has the opportunity to show that he can be the focal point of a good offense.
• Will Fuller V doesn't believe in regression and neither do I.
• Keelan Cole kinda sounds like Keenan and Kel if you say it fast enough. He also apparently will be a starter in Jacksonville and looked great at the end of last year.  
• Dez Bryant doesn't have a team.  He probably won't stroll into one and do much at the beginning of the year either.  But when CJ Prosise goes right before this pick, then there could be much less upside.
• Patterson is my dark horse for top 24 WR.  He finds himself in a great situation with Brady throwing him the ball, and if he can learn to run the routes there he could do some serious damage.

TE: 

• Evan Engram NYG, Jake Butt DEN
• I've heard some good things about Jake Butt, honestly though I just drafted him with my last skill position pick because of his name.  Call me immature, I'll agree.
• Evan Engram did much better than rookie TEs typically do.  He's athletic and now has an offense that looks competent.  This can be a good or bad thing, but I'm okay with a few TDs outta my TE slot.

Overall:

• Obviously the best team in the league.  Even ESPN has it as the highest projected.  ESPN knows.
• DRAFT GRADE: A+

If you're near the bottom and actually read all of this, you may have noticed that my writer-ups got increasingly shorter.  I started watching the X-files about halfway through and realized its hard to type while listening to a show.

The truth is out there.  Good luck.